confused

Several weeks ago a master peer began an interrogation about myself: how I feel, how I perform with girls, how I respond to certain scenarios, etc. I decided to open myself to other and put an effort in trusting people, so I tryed to answer her as honestly as I could.

Since I've memory, I always put apart my feelings. I'm no the kind of guy who is in touch with his feelings, and simply I don't do it because it has been painful, and after a while of been confronted with my sensitivity, I get anxious and a bit paranoic.

And my peer did that: pushed with her questions. But add a few more accidents: I've to help in her thesis in my position of lab in charge (see further) and we're work team in a subject.

Anyway, sincerely, I've to thank her, because now I see a problem with myself that I've to solve: I need to face my feelings.

But it is enough of rationalisms, I'm going to write my anger:

The history with this girl began in the first semester, we went in a team for two subjects, but she's civil engeneer, so she stood in the position of "I don't code, I only do powerpoint presentations". I would accept that I'm biased in the size of coding effort, but nevertheless I felt really annoying spent my last year "holy week" coding for a JSSP problem, and give her a good score in something that (now I realize) she didn't understand a bit.

After that semester I told myself not go in a team with her again. But this last semester I've to team with her again. At least the subject isn't about code, but to do powerpoint presentations, so she's in the mood.

In the other hand, she have been asking me questions about J2EE. I hate J2EE, (whole Java in fact) and the only things I know about is because the subject we team in the first semester. Nevertheless I gladly answer all of her question. As a reward of it, and as responsable of the lab, her advisor required me to set up a J2EE framework in order to facilitate her his thesis work. I would like somebody to facilitate my thesis too.

As I said that first semester: I feel like a mule trying to pull a cart.

I can understand her position: she's not a IT student.

Enough of anger. Maybe I'm not fair in this rant, but it's the way I feel.

Java

I'd lie if the proposal to install J2EE envirnoment utterly disliked me. The challenge sound as a happy procrastination. So I started the last saturday in the morning.

I had to install JBoss, MySQL and CPetstore in a bloated and badly installed FC2 (why everybody likes fedora?). I didn't want to do it in a download/compile/install fashion, I've the power of apt-get. Found JPackage. a repository of Java RPMS. Great!

I finish all this today at 8pm... Remembered when I done all this in my mythic lap Angelina with Gentoo: emerge jboss and everything was running smoothly. Gosh! how I detest Fedora.

Now leave alone, I have a thesis to work in....